Today i received this email from one of my friend, it is really interesting! and worth for sharing. If any Superstar Rajnikanth fans are reading this, Please don’t take it seriously. Just read and enjoy!!!
We all know that Rajnikanth is a timeless superstar and his Endhian Robot is arguably, the biggest ever hit in South India. The second most powerful entertainer in Asia, after Jackie Chan, Rajnikanth has proved that he is Mr. Box Office himself. Let us now go to the lighter side of life and enjoy some Rajnikanth jokes. Here is the ever expanding set of Unlimited Maximum Rajnikanth Jokes (along with the contribution comments from our beloved readers) :
1. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.
2. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn’t lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.
3. There is no such thing as evolution, it’s just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.
4. Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.
5. Rajinikanth can divide by zero.
6. Rajinikanth can judge a book by it’s cover.
7. Rajinikanth can drown a fish.
8. Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
9. Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs.
10. Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.
11. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
12. Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald’s, and got it.
13. Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.
14. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off.
15. Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain.
16. Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
17. Rajinikanth can make onions cry.
18. Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
19. Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.
20. Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.
21. Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013.
22. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.
23. Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.
24. Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano.
25. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
26. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.
27. Rajinikanth can talk about Fight Club.
28. Rajinikanth doesn’t breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
29. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai.
30. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.
31. Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
32. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.
33. Rajinikanth doesn’t move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.
34. Rajinikanth knows Victoria’s secret.
35. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.
36. Rajinikanth can throw the Thackerays out of Mumbai.
37. Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.
38. Google won’t find Rajinikanth because you don’t find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.
39. Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.
40. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.
41. Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good “or else”. The result? Mother Teresa.
42. Rajinikanth electrocuted Iron Man.
43. Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.
44. Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.
45. Rajinikanth puts the ‘laughter’ in manslaughter.
46. Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.
47. Rajinikanth can handle the truth.
48. Rajinikanth can speak Braille.
49. Rajinikanth can dodge Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kicks.
50. Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks.
51. Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.
52. Who do you think taught Voldemort Parseltongue? Rajinikanth did.
53. Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result – He was reduced to a joke on the internet.
54. Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.
55. Rajinikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
56. Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
57. The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.
58. Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
59. Rajinikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
60. Rajinikanth can run at speed of light around a tree and screw himself.
61.Rajinikant can lick his elbows.
62. Rajinikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
63. Rajinikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost.
64. Rajinikant doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
65. Rajinikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 seconds.
66. When you say “no one is perfect”, Rajinikant takes this as a personal insult.
67. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
68. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born.
69. The statement “nobody can cheat death”, is a personal insult to Rajnikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday.
70. When Rajnikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn’t know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out.
71. Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.
72. Rajinikanth knows what women really want.
73. Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth.
74. Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that’s when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.
75. As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet.
76. Rajinikanth collects Honey from his private Moon – HoneyMoon.
77. Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.
78. Rajinikanth doesn’t need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.
79. Rajinikanth’s brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury’s.
80. Rajinikanth doesn’t shower. He only takes blood baths.
81. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth.
82. The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Rajinikanth’s fist.
83. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth, there is no other way.
84. Rajinikanth’s every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog.
85. Rajinikanth doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint out of fear.
86. Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikanth”.
87. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.
88. Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
89. Rajinikanth is a champion in the game “Hide n’ seek”, as no one can hide from Rajinikanth.
90. Rajinikanth proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.
91. Rajinikanth is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.
92. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on.
93. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth.
94. If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Rajinikanth.
95. Rajinikanth’s first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.
96. Rajinikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
97. When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
98. Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
99. Rajinikanth’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
Here is few more facts that are posted by viewers of this article.
100. you dont google rajnikanth…u rajnikanth google
101. Rajnikanth’s email is gmail@rajnikanth.com
102. The world will not end in 2012, Rajnikanth has bought a computer with a 3 year warranty.
103. Even Ghajni remembers Rajni !!!
104. The day ROBOT was released, Rajnikanth gave Times of India a rating of 4 stars
Some actors set benchmarks in cinema, Rajnikanth sets deskmarks
105. Micheal Jordan to Rajni – I can spin a basketball on my fingers for 2 hrs. Can u? Rajnikanth – How do u think earth spins?
106. Rajnikant.. once wrote his Autobiography – The book is today known as The Guiness Book of World Records!
107. While playing once rajnikanth said “statue” to a girl..now its know as “Statue of Liberty
108. Rajnikanth to buy Facebook, he will be making one change in it, instead of ‘like’ he will put ‘sooper’
109. Rajnikanth once rolled a dice and scored a 7
110. Rajnikanth runs until the Treadmill gets tired
111. Rajnikant got into a fight with Superman. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pant for the rest of his life. ;)
112. Once Dinosaurs borrowed money frm Rajnikanth n refused 2pay him back.. Tat was d last time.After that no one saw Dinosaurs
113. Rajni gives permission to Sachin to score those hundreds..
114. Alfred Noble won RAJNIKANTH award !
115. Rajnikanth can build a snowman….. out of rain.
116. When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on…. he turns the dark off.
117. Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
118. Rajnikant’s codes are never reviewed, if he makes an error, that’s an invention
119. Rajnikanth can write into A READ ONLY FILE
120. Rajnikanth don’t have a Twitter account, Because no one can follow him and he’s already following you
121. Bullets dodge Rajnikanth.
122. If you spell Rajnikanth wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajnikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”
123.Rajnikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
124. The square root of Rajnikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajnikanth, the result is death.
125. Rajnikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life unless it gets in his way.
126. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajnikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
127.Rajnikanth laughs at you and your silly jokes about him even before you think them up. So don’t bother..
128.One nite, while asleep, Rajnikanth was mumbling some random numbrs… Thats how the Log table was invented.
129. Some actor set benchmarks in cinema, Rajnikanth sets deskmarks
130. If Rajnikanth would have born 100 years back, British would have fought to get independence.
131.Rajnikanth saved the Gal in one hand….titanic in other
132.Every morning rajni goes for spacewalk
132.Rajni is so hot..d cigarette burns before its lit
133.Rajnikanth irons his shirts while he’s wearing them.
134. Rajnikanth wrote a check without any bank balance and the bank bounced
135.Only Rajnikanth can smell what the rock is cooking.
136. Intel’s new tag line…. RAJNIKANT INSIDE!
137.Once Rajnikanth entered bigg boss…The next day announcement was made… Rajnikanth chahte hai ki bigg boss confession room me aaye..
138.Rajnikanth can cut knife with apple.
139.What does GOD exclaim when he is shocked ? Oh my Rajnikaanth!!!!!
140.Rajnikanth knows who let the dogs out.
141.Nature answers Rajnikanth’s call.
142. Once Rajnikanth said to a quite shy girl “plz talk something”..
Now that girl is known as..Dolly Bindra
143.Rajnikanth bought 2 elephants ,2 camels and 2 horses from the zoo Why?
To Play chess!!!!!!
144.After 20 years, Robots will make a movie called Rajnikanth
145.And God said,”RUN, Its Rajinikanth” -Exodus 17:8-16
146.When Rajnikant logs on to facebook.com, facebook updates its status message!
147.CAT is OutDated..Now d students have 2 prepapre for RAT.. wondering what it is..?
Rajanikant Aptitude Test…
If you feel, if there is any interesting fact, put it in comments!
Next post
Dr. Vijay’s SMS Jokes | Funny SMS
Dr. Vijay SSLC goes 2 a shop and shouts: Where is the free item with Mineral water??
Seller: There is no free item issued with it.
Dr. Vijay: But on the label it is written as Bacteria free…Dont Cheat me I am a Doctor.. Mind it.
Dr.Vijay got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate
“Mother: Indian
Father: Indian
Kid:Chinese.”
“How come you write “Chinese” when both parents are Indians?” ”
Dr.vijay:ah haa u cant fool me i read a newspaper,
it says that every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese”
Q: What do VJ Fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 2,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Officer : Where were you born ?
V chai : tamilnadu
Officer :which part ?
V chai: wat na which part ? My Whole body born in Tamilnadu only na.
Ennathan Vijay ku Kulandhai Pirandhaalum,
Avanukku pirantha Mudhal Kulandhaiya Ellarumae
” THALA” pullanu dhan koopduvaanga….
Surya: Chess Vilayaadalaama?
Dr. VijaySSLC: Neenga Poi Ground la wait pannunga naan sports shoe pottutu varaen!
Reporter: When is kavalan film releasing?
Vijay: I will not tell that?
Reporter:Why
Vijay: Sagara naal therunguchuduna vazhra naal naragam ayudum
Interviewer: Do you know MS office ?
Dr. Vijay SSLC fail: Address kudunga sir poi paarthutu vandhurren!!!!
Interviewer: Sabba Mudiyalaiyae!!!!!!!
Tell any Microsoft Products
Surya: MS Excel
Ajith: MS Word
Vikram: MS Powerpoint
Doctor Vijay SSLC Fail: MS Dhoni
INDIAN ATHLETIC LOST GOLD MEDAL IN OLYMPICS LONG JUMPd
Dr.visay reads this in news paper and says,
“WHO TOLD HIM TO WEAR GOLD MEDAL WHILE JUMPING”
What Dr.Vijay do if he becomes a chief minister? (Impossible anyway, just imagine)
He will take a copy of Andhra Budget and declare it as Tamil Nadu budget (Remake)
Vijay went to cloth shop. he asked INDIA flag.. the worker gave him.. but after some seconds the worker shouted.. do u know WHY??
vijay asked him “vera colour illayaa!!”
Professor: Neenga ennava aaga aasai padureenga?
Student: Naan MBBS padichu, Police aagi, Nalla software companyla, lawyera work panni periya periya building ah katti research panna poraen….
Professor: Aei niruthu… Nee enna Vijay fan’ a?
SHIP CAPTAIN-
oh!!!!what shall we do???????the water level is rising above the danger mark???????
DR.VIJAY-
raise the danger mark above the water level…….
SHIP CAPTAIN-?????
DR.VIJAY- hey y traffic???
MAN-bcoz prime minister is coming
DR.VIJAY-PRIME MINISTER na enna periya COLLECTORA?????
DR.VIJAY with CHENNAI SUPER KINGS
DR.VIJAY- i am one of the best actor in tamil film industry
MORKEL- joke adichathu pothum…….poi tea sollu…..
RAINA- enakku sugar jasthiya………
DR.VIJAY(crying)- dai enga amma sathiyama na hero da……….
DHONI- thambi tea innum varala……
Dad:-doctor! en son’a kaapathave mudiyaadha?
Doc:-poison ethuvum saptu irundha kaapathi irukalam but paiyan veverama “VIJAY” padatha pathirukran
Dad:-interval’la kondu vandhirundha avanai kaapathi irukkalama?
Doc:-vaaipe illa..introduction scene liye uyir poyidichu
Dr. Vijay SSLC started a college….
The Name of the college is
Dr. VIJAY MEDICAL COLLEGE OF ENGINEERING….
FLASH NEWS:
108 AMBULANCE SERVICES WONT BE AVAILABLE FOR PUBLIC ON DECEMBER
ALL AMBULANCES BEEN BOOKED BY KAVALAN RELEASING THEATRES
Really Funny And True Anti-Vijay Jokes !
PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS FOR HUMOR PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT TO HURT ANYONE.
Records:
Russians: We are living in 48 deg cool temp we are great
Africans: We are living in 48 deg heat v are great
Tamilan: We are living even after seeing 48 vijay films. Goyala yarkitta……
Bus comedy:
Doctor – Ennappa eppadi adi pattuch
patient – Bus-la porappa ‘vijay’ padam pottanga,
Theatre-nu ninachu velia vanthutten
Doctor-??\
Suntv:
vijay : Namma suntv mela case podanum
Manager : Ethukku sir
vijay : Ennoda aduthapadam hit aagumnu sonnatha, vilayatu seithil la
pottu irukanga
Chess comedy:
Ajit – chess vilaiyaada povom varingala?
vijay – neega pou ground la wait pannunga naan shoe pottutu varean
vijay rocks
National anthem:
Viajy to prabhudeva: Indha patu superah Iruke idha Namba Padathula
Remake panalama
Prabu Deva: Dei nasama ponavane Adhu Desiya Geetham da
Diff between kamal and vijay
Difference between kamal & vijay:
Kamal acts in 10 diff role in one film(original).
but vijay acts in same role in 10 different dubbing films.
Director comedy:
Director – Vadivelu podalama, Illa karunas podalama
Vijay – Comedy kuda nane pannuran sir
Director – Comedy neenga than panringa nan hero yara podalamnu think panran
Doctor vijay:
Dr. vijay sslc goes 2 a shop & shouts where is the free gift with this
mineral water.
Seller: There is no free gift with this
Vijay: But on the lable its written bacteria free. I am doctor u can’t cheat me
Enjoy non stop doctor vijay comedies
Driver – Sorry sir petrol mulusa dry aagidichi , inimel oru adi kuda
munnadi nagarathu
Dogtor vijay – Hmm.. sari reverse edu veetukavathu pokalam
Exam hall:
Ajith & vijay writing semester exam:
vijay : Thala konjam answer kattunga
Ajit: Hindi paper da idhu unnaku tamil exam da
vijay: Parravala adha kattunga na tamila remake pannikuraen
Thala: Idhuku picha edukalaam
vijay: yevalavo panrom idhu panna maatomaa……
Exclusive vijay comedies
1. How a police can wear boot cut and have style hair?(pokiri)
2. How to go to final match after losing semi finals?(Gilli)
3. How to become boxer in 1 day & 1 song? (Badri)
4.How to come alive even after dying?(puthya geethai)
5. And finally having a long jump record for a half a KM in kuruvi….
Still to be continued enna koduma sir idhu….
TV special:
Customer. Intha TV velai enna?
Salesman: 1,00,000 sir
Cus: Appadi enna special?
Salesman: Tv la “vijay” program vanda aduve thana vera channel maridum
Top 10 Jokes about Tamil actor Vijay
If any vijay fans are reading this, i feel sorry for them. Please don’t take it seriously. Just read and enjoy !!!
1. I am still living in this world ( Eighth wonder of the world ) even after seeing your 48 films.
2. Blue cross has put enquiry on you because lot of ‘Kuruvi’ has attempted suicide for misusing their name. Please don’t torture the animals.Fortunately they are not
seeing your movies. ( Anna….Vitrukanganna….Kuruvi….Pavamna…Vayila poochi )
3. LG is going to introduce a flat screen TV named ‘Ghilli 1999′ very soon for Rs.1999/- only. ( Cheapest flat screen TV in the world ).The speciality of this tv is whenever
your face is shown on any tv, it will automatically change the channel itself. LG claims that their software is so intelligent that it can detect even if you dress like a woman.
4. Difference between Kamalhassan & U: He acts in 10 diff role in one film(original).But you are acting in same role in 10 different dubbed films.
5. We heard that everytime you finish shooting of your film, you go to church and ask god to forgive you for that film. Is this true?
6. Indian medical association has made a statement recently that “We can save people who had eaten poison.But we can’t save a person if he gets a heart attack after
seeing vijay’s film.We feel very sorry for that. Anyway we have formed a team of 10 specialist doctors for studying this and finding a medicine”.
7. Vijay Tv has given the “Best comedian for the period 2000 to 2009″ award to you.
8. We heard that you are planning to remake the ‘National Anthem’ of our country. Please vijay, don’t remake atleast this.
9. BCCI has requested you to give a seminar on the topic ‘How to go to a final match after reaching semi finals?’ for our Indian cricket team as you have done
that trick in the film ‘Ghilli’.
10. ‘India Today’ magazine has conducted a survey recently and asked ‘What is the easiest way to die’? to 1000 people on. Here are the results:
” Smoke daily – You will die 10 years early
Drink Daily – You will die 30 years early
Love a girl Truly – You will die daily
But see Vijay poster …. You will die immediately “
Another Fun Fact-
Voldemort is afraid to refer to Rajnikanth by name.
i know the trick to make super computers..just change the name My Computer to Ranjnikant’s Computer..it will start behaving like super computer.
Rajnikanth once warned a lady !! ABY !! SIDHI REH… WAaRNa… The lady is……… Mother Teresa :)
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
the amazon jungle is said to be rajn’s backyard
stop this non sense……………
I was expecting Rajnikant jokes and all I found was Chuck Norris jokes….Why don’t people be creative and make original Rajnikant jokes instead of just copying Chuck Norris jokes?
Once Rajnikanth threw his cigarette after smoking.the cigratte which was thrown by him is known as SUN nowadays………………
why these people in india taking chuck norris facts and changing name to rajnikanth and spreading it?
read more rajnikanth famous jokes http://bit.ly/aIuQCY
why india got the independence in 1947??????
because england get known of the fact that RAJANIKANT is going to born in next year ,
thats why due to fear they left india !!!!!!!!
oh my god wat a serious numbers of jokes… jai rajnikanth or rajnikanth vazhga….
RAJNIKANTH ‘S PET NAME IS COELAKANTH(EXTINCT SPECIES)
Bumper …………..
rajnikant ki maa ki aankh.
Once Rajnikanth gave his white pair clothes to a child
that child is today kn as sultan mirza
ONCE RAJNI TAUGHT A CHID TO SHAKE HIS BODY LEFT AND RIGHT WITHOUT EVEN DRIKING LIQUOR……..
.
.
.
.
.
.
THAT CHILD IS TODAY KN AS DEV ANAND
ONCE RAJNI RAIDED IN INCOME TAX OFFICE
ALL NEW FACTS-
1. ONCE HE SCANNED ANTI-VIRUS
2. ONCE HE TAUGHT A CHILD TO SPEAK VERY FAST ENGLISH…………..
THAT CHILD IS TODAY KN AS FAMOUS RAPPER EMINEM
3. OXFORD CAN GIVE ANY WORD MEANING BT RAJNI CAN GIVE MEANING OF OXFORD
4. HE DOSNT LAUGH ON JOKES , JOKES GET SERIOUS ON HIM
5. HE 1CE DRANK LIQUIO AND TOOK WID
NW LIQUIOR GOT HIGHER AND WID IS NOW UNCOSIOUS
6.HIS 3 STUDENTS R TODAY KN AS BHRAMA , VISHNU , MAHESH(DNT TAKE 6TH POINT VERY SERIOUSLY PLZ)
7. HE FEEL FRM CYCLE,, PAIN FEELS RAJNIKANTH
8. HIS FAVORATE 7 COLOURS R TODAY KN AS RAINBOW
9.HE PROVIDED LOAN TO GODEES LAXMI(SAME NOTE AS 6TH PT)
10. HE COMMENTED ON EACH VIDEO OF YOUTUBE WITHOUT SINING – IN
11. HE 1CE HAD GONE TO RAILWAY STATION…………..
HE TOLD “TC” TO SHOW TICKET
12. HE 1CE HAD GONE TO COURT AND HE ………
SAID JUDGE ORDER-ORDER
13. HE GAVE HIS UMBRELLA TO A VERY THIN AND POOR CHILD ……
THAT CHILD IS TODAY KN AS POPATLAL OF TARAK MEHTA KA ULTA CHASMA
14. HIS ANIMAL WORLD:-
- HE GIVES COW D MILK
- HE BARKS AT DOG
- HE KIKS TO DONKLEY
-WHEN HE DOES COAU-COAU , GUEST COMES IN CROWS HOUSE
15.VULGUR—
- WHEN HE TAKES I-PILL , I-PILL GETS PREGNANT
- RAJNI KHUD KA _ _ _ _ MAAR SAGTA HAI
16. WHEN HE VISITS SALOON HE CUTS D HAIR OF BARBER
17. WHWN HE SHOWS RED COLOURED CLOTH TO BAFFALO…. HE RUNS TO HIM AND BAFFALO RUNS AWAY FRM HIM
18. WHEN GUEST COMES TO HIS HOUSE THEY ASK WATER TO HIM
19. 1CE WENT TO RIWER FRONT…. ALL FISHES CAME OUT TO FEED HIM THERE
20. WHEN HE GOES TO ANY MARRIAGE ……. BOTH BRIDE AND GROOM CAME DOWN THE STAGE TO CONGRATULATE HIM
21. HE HAS SECURITY CODE IN HIS LANDLINE
22. 1CE BUSH SAID RAJNI DNT HAVE ANY POWER ,,,,,,…… AND NW D NEW PRESIDNT IS OBAMA
23. HE ACTIVATES FAKE CALL IN TRANSMITTER
24. FB UPDATES STATUS FOR HIM
25. RAJNIS MARKET TREND–
- WHEN HE STARTS BUSINESS, BUSINESS BRINGS CAPITAL ND PROFIT
- WHEN RAJNI DOES OVERTIME WORK GETS TIRED
- RAJNIS INCENTIVE IS MRE THAN COMPANIES PROFIT
- HIS PEONS R HERE C.A GRATUATES
26. 1CE HE MADE A PRONOUNCIATION MISTAKE AND STILL IS-LAND IS I-LAND
27. HE IS D ONLY PERSON WHO WEARS COLOURFUL DHOTI
28. HE WENT INTO D PERSONAL INTERVIEW……………..
HE ASKED RAGHU, RAJIV AND RANVIJAY AAP ROADIES KYU BAN NA CHAHTE HAI..???
29. 1CE HE WAS INSULTED BY NEWS TAT THERE IS DADA IN INDIAN CRICKET TEAM…….
SO WAT NE GANGULY IS NT A PLAYER FOR IPL ALSO
30. 1CE AAMIR KHAN COMPLINES ABOUT SRK TO RAJNI ABUT TEASING HIS WIFE …………. RAJNI FRIGHTENED HIM SO MUCH TAT NW HE SAYS KKKKAAARRRIIIAAANNN
31. 1CE HE SENT HIS 2 SERVENTS TO D HILL…
THEY R KN AS JACK AND JILL
32. D EMERGENCE OF INDIAN OCEAN IS DUE TO RAJNIS LEAK OF TAB
33. 1CE HE WARNED SHHID KAPOOR TI HAVE A MATURED GIRLFRIEND…..& NW HE BROKE WITH KAREENA
34. HE LOST HIS IMP BOOK IN CHILDHOOD AND NW SANJIV KAPOOR IS FAMOUS
35. HE 1CE TOLD A LADY- “TU STAGE PE JAKE GAA”
TAT LADY IS KN TODAY AS LADY GAGA
——–RAJESH
Rajnikant Scrubs his body with stone while bathing
36. ONCE RAJNI TAUGHT A CHID TO SHAKE HIS BODY LEFT AND RIGHT WITHOUT EVEN DRIKING LIQUOR……..
.
.
.
.
.
.
THAT CHILD IS TODAY KN AS DEV ANAND
37. Once Rajnikanth gave his white pair clothes to a child
that child is today kn as sultan mirza
38. RAJNI^S WORLD-
- HIS MOTTO IS JAYTE MEV SATYA
-PRESSURE FEELS HIM IN EARLY MORNING
-HE DOWNLOADS SONGS FROM COM.PKSONGS.WWW
- HIS WEB SERVER ADDRESS IS //PTTH
-HE GIVES SHADOW TO TRESS
-HE GIVES COOLNESS TO MOON
-HE GIVES LUCK CHARM LUCK
-HE EMBARISHES D MOMENT WHEN HE WANT TO….
-HE SCANNES X-RAY MACHINE
HE GIVES H.W TO HIS SIR
-WHEN HE GOES FOR AN INTERVIEW …… HE ASKS TO SHOW RESUME TO AN INTERVIEWER
-HE CHECKS D HEALTH OF HIS FAMILY DR
39. IN HIS B/S-
-D AMT O/S FOR CURRENT YR BECOMES D PREPAID AMT FOR CURRENT YR WHEN HE VIEWS IT
- HE PREPARES HIS CA’S A/C WITHOUT DEBITING OR CREDITING A/C’S
40. HE QUE D ANS IN EXAMS
41. Punchured tyre of rajni’s vehical doesn’t effect d speed of Rajni
42. Rajni can use d burnt match sticks again
43. Rajni has a security code in his landline
44. 1ce bush said Rajni dnt have any power
& nw d new presidnt is Obama
45. 1ce rajni was insulted by news that there is dada ìn indian cricket team….
So wat Ganguly is nw nt a player for ipl also
46. RAJNI;S MARKET TREND-
- WHEN HE STARTS BUSINESS , BUSINESS
BRINGS BOTH CAPITAL AND PROFIT
-WHEN HE DOES OVERTIME WORK GETS TIRED
-HIS INCENTIVE IS MRE THAN COMPANIES PROFIT
-HE PAYS SALARY TO HIS BOSS
-HIS PEOUNS R HERE C.A GRADUATES
47. EVEN CM COMES TO TAKE VOTE AT RAJNI;S HOUSE
48.FB WRLD
- Fb updates status for rajni
-FB RECIVES NOTIFICATIONS FRM HIS MOBILE
-HIS ANGERNESS MAY BLOCK FB FOREVER
-HE ONLY HAS A BOTTON OF UNLIKE
-HE REMAINS OFFLINE ON E-BUDDY
49. RAJNI MAKES FIR FOE CID
50.HE CALCULATES D TIME OF STOPWATCH WHEN HE PARTICIPATES IN RACE
51. IN CRICKET GAME=
-HE COVERS D SAME BALL WHICH HE OVERTHROWS
-HE IS D PERSON WHO PENDS DECISION FOR 3RD EMPIRE
-WHEN HE DOES STOMPING D BATSMAN IS GIVEN OUT EVEN IF HE IS IN CREASE
————————-END———————-
cool jokes made
cool rajni jokes, they are heart taking
1. rajnikanth once participated in a 100m race and obviously won. The other day newton died of a heart attack because light had come second.
2. We say oh my god! what does god say? he says oh my rajnikanth.
3. 1 day spiderman, batman, shaktiman and superman came to rajnikanth’s house. Why? because it was teacher’s day.
More new jokes-
1- once RAJNI RAIDED IN INCOME TAX OFFICE
2- 1ce SALMAN by MISTAKE ASKED RAJNI=” KYA AAP MAE HAI DUS KA DUM”
AND NW SALMAN IS EVEN NT HOSTING BIG BOSS
MIND IT
3- .1ce he sat in bus and travelled in ahmed , tat particular road is today kn as B.R.T.S
4- ONCE HE WAS ANGRY AND IN D FIT OF ANGER HE HAD THROWN STONE
,,,, REMEMBERED THAT STONE WAS RONGLY TERMED AS METEORS
5-1CE HE TAUGHT A CHILD TO SPEAK ANIMAL LANGUAGE ND TO LIVE WTH THEM…. THAT CHILD WAS KN AS MOGLI
6-1CE HE ORDERD BATMAN TO GIVE HIS CLOTHES TO SHAKTI KAPOOR ND HE DID D ROLE OF “CRIME MASTER GOGO”
7-RAJNI’S TIME OF BIRTH WAS 13’O CLOCK ,,,,,,, AFTR TAT DAY D TIME DECIDED NOT TO SHOW TIS TIME FOREVER
8-ONCE HE TAGGED WHOLE FB
9-KANKARIA KARNIVAL’S ROCKET IN AHMED WERE ACTUALLY RAJNI’S TARAMANDAL
10-1CE HE HAD HIS LEGS ON SHIT, SHIT WAS NW SMELLING SWEET
11-HE KNWS D REACHARGE COUPAN NO B4 SCRACHING IT
12-WHEN HE DOES COAU-COAU, GUEST CMS IN CROW’S HOUSE
13- 1CE AGAIN HE WENT INTO D COURT…….. TIS TIME HE ASKED PROFFESIONAL LAWYER TO SAY – “MAE JO KAHUNGA…….. KUCH NAI KAHUNGA”
14-1CE RAJNI TOLD A CHILD TO COPY HIS NAME IN TERMS OF NUMBER FOR SUCCESS…., SO WHAT STILL SACHIN HAS 10 NUMBER ON HIS BACK
15-RAJNI’S GAME OF KABADDI-
WHEN HE PLAYS KABADDI ALL TEAM PLAYERS SAY RAJNI-RAJNI-RAJNI
AND NT KABADDI
16-WHEN RAJNI WALKS NAKED IN HIS AREA…
-ANU MALIK STOPS SINGING
-COW STARTS BARKING
-DOG STARTS DOING YELLOW SHIT
-HORSE STARTS RUNNING IN REVERSE GEAR
-EVEN BAL THAKRE FORGETS MARATHI
-EVEN LALU SPEAKS ENGLISH
-EVN IRAN KHAN FORGETS D LYRICS OF SONG BEWAFFA
-EVN SULTAN MIRZA STARTS WEARING BLACK COLOYRED CLOTHES
-EVN SWAMINARAYAN PERSON STARTS EATING ONION
-EVN MAULANA WHO HAS 48 WIFES KEEPS SINGLE RELATIONSHIP(DNT MAKE A RELIGIOUS ISSUE ON IT, IT’S A JOKE)
-EVN NASTIK STARTS PRAYING TO GOD
17.EK BAAR RAJINI NE EK ADMI KO VAKALAT KRNA SIKHAYA . USKO AAJ HUM K.D PATHAK KAHTE HAI
Why people makes the person name very funny…. just go and search his history you will be definitely say sorry …..
Guys enough is enough
No more Rajnikanth jokes coz he has started crying and
Look at the effect on Japan :)
Some facts about Rajnikant from his films:
1. Rajnikant has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can’t be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajnikant is shot in the head. To everybody’s surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajnikant!
2. In another movie, Rajnikant is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajnikant has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. He throws the knife at the middle gangster & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.
3. Rajnikant is chased by a gangster. Rajnikant has a revolver but no bullets in it. Rajnikant waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajnikant opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang… the gangster dies…
4. Rajnikant gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. Rajnikant has to desperately kill the villain because it’s the climax. Rajnikant suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
1. Rajnikant can make calls from his iPod to his iPad…!!!
2. Once Rajnikaant signed a cheque… and the Bank bounced!!!
3. Once Death had ‘near Rajnikant experience’ !!
4. When GOD is shocked he exclaims “Oh my Rajnikaant!”?
5. Great mystery solved : the missing piece of apple in Apple’s Logo was eaten by Rajnikant!!
6. The world is not ending in 2012…. Rajnikant just bought a laptop with 3 yrs warranty!!?
7. Rajnikant knows the exact value of Pi upto a Googol
8. Rajnikant knows what came first, chicken or egg!!
9. Rajnikant once won an argument with his wife.
10. There in nothing Rajini’Kant do.
11. Rajnikanths nxt project. Titanic in Tamil. Climax revised. Both survive. Rajnikant swims across the Atlantic Ocean with heroine in one hand and… Titanic in the other.
12. Neo was “the one” Rajinikant is “the only one”
13. Superman once got into a fight with Rajnikanth. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.
14. Intel’s new caption – Rajnikant Inside.
15. Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
16. Rajini doesn’t need water supply. Hydrogen and Oxygen merge at the sight of him and produce water whenever he wants.
17. All of the theories on Dinosaur Extinction are wrong. Rajnikant simply stomped his foot and they all died.
18. If Rajnikant gets into a car accident (yeah right) His car will need some airbags to protect it from him.
19. Contrary to popular belief, Rajnikant cannot fly. He just jumps and chooses when to come down.
20. Some magicans can walk on water, Rajnikant can swim through land.
21. If Rajnikant ever got caught for speeding, he’d let the cops off with a warning.
22. Rajnikant can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
23. Rajnikant runs until the treadmill gets tired
24. Rajnikant irons his Pants with them still on.
25. Rajnikant can squeeze orange juice from a banana
26. In the back of the book of world records, it says “All records are held by Rajnikant. The ones listed are in second place.”
27. Rajnikant can tie his shoes with his feet.
28. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Rajnikant out. It failed miserably.
29. Basketball player: I can spin a ball on my finger for 2 hrs… can u..??
Rajnikanth: enna rascala… How do u think the earth spins…?? :) mind it!
30. In an wild argument, rajnikant showd a middle finger to his GF…n she gt pregnant !!!
31. 1000 yrs from now……..robots will make movie named “Rajanikant”
32.Paul The Octopus was asked to predict when would Rajnikant Die …………….. R.I.P PAUL !!!!
33. Rajnikanth once entered a race he came first, second and third.
34. Rajnikanth added facebook as his friend.
35. Once Rajnikant was caught on the highway for over speeding… while walking…
36. Rajnikant once wrote his autobiography. Today that book is known as “Guiness book of world RECORDS”.
37. Once Rajnikant taught a kid how to open a door without ringing d bell. Today that child is know as CID inspector DAYA.
38. Once Rajnikant mumbled some numbers in his sleep. Those numbers are today collectively known as the “LOG TABLE.”
39.When Rajnikanth was a kid he made his mom eat her vegetables!
40. The oceans are filled with tears of Rajnikanths victims.
41. The Punjabi singer Pooja was at one time married but then Rajnikanth started to have a crush on her… and now she’s Miss Pooja.
42. The only reason ShahRukh Khan stuttered in the movie Darr is because he saw Rajnikanth behind Juhi Chawla!!
43. The movie Krrish is loosely based on Rajnikanth’s life.
44. Gandhi’s non violence movement REALLY pissed Rajnikanth off.
45. India actually didn’t have 50,000 crores for organizing the Commonwealth games… Rajnikanth gave it to them!
46. An email was sent from Pune to Mumbai … Rajnikant stopped it in Lonawala.
47. Rajnikant Bcom Accounting Answr Paper is Termed as ACCOUNTING STANDARDS
48. Once Rajnikant participated in Bike race. Don’t even try 2 guess wat happened. Rajnikant won d race on Neutral gear. Mind it anna..
49. Once Rajnikant lost his Wallet. Since then The World is Facing Recession
50. Rajnikanth once threw a coin in disgust at a black beggar, the beggar is now known as 50 Cent
51. Newton gave us just the three dumb laws of motion. Rajinikanth has already given us 33,945 laws of commotion and the count is far from completed.
52. Rajinikanth is a vegetarian. Meaning, he does not eat animals until first he puts them into vegetative state with his fists.
53. Raincoats were developed to prevent raindrops from getting electrocuted on coming within 100 metres of Rajinikanth. (Gap10 fans, excuse)
54. Thousands of years ago Rajinikanth came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its descendents now have white hair.
55. The movie ‘300′ was initially planned to be made with Rajinikanth. It was originally named ‘1′.
56. We face earthquakes only when Rajnikanth plays skipping.
57. Once Rajnikanth was on Hot Seat of KBC and Computer needed Lifeline to Choose the question.
58. Once Rajni was having sex in a Fiat . A sperm escaped and entered the engine of the car …that car is now called Ferrari.
59. If Rajinikanth’s PC hangs, its time for the next Windows release by Microsoft.
60. Rajnikanth gargles with Frag Grenads.
61. There used to be a street named after Rajnikanth, but it was changed because nobody crosses Rajnikanth and lives.
62. Rajnikanth was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible. He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn’t make any sense.
63. Rajnikanth can run you over with a parked car.
64. Rajnikanth can whistle in five different languages, including sign language
65. Rajnikanth can sneeze with his eyes open.
66. Once, Rajnikanth told Nike to ‘just do it…’ and it did.
67. If 12/21/2012 is the end of the world, it means that Rajnikanth got bored with humanity
68. A new Nostradamus prophecy has been uncovered. Armageddon & Rajnikanth are one and the same.
69. Lifetime Warranties do not exist because of Rajnikanth.
70. Rajnikanth doesn’t have bad days. Bad days have Rajnikanth
71. Rajnikanth has nicknames for his feet… Hiroshima and Nagaski.
72. When Rajnikanth was born, the only person crying was the doctor. You NEVER slap Rajnikanth.
73. Rajnikanth puts his pants on two legs at a time.
74. Rajnikanth CAN read Lady Gaga’s poker face.
75. Two ghosts were talking.. One consoled other “Don’t fear brother.. there is nothing like Rajnikant”
76. Once Bill Gates went to Rajnikant. For what? To ask for DVD of Windows 8.
77. No one can wish a happy birthday to Rajjnikanth cause he was here before time existed
78. i have got so many rajnikanth jokes on my mobile phone……..dat i dont require a charger now:)
79. Rajnikant got admission in medical profession. And gave viva exam. In the end he asked the examiner to come back after preparation.
80. Rajnikant’s daughter lost her virginity. Rajnikant found it and gave it back to her !!!
81. Rajnikant was born on 30th february.. Since then february decided not to give this date to anyone else..!! Mind it..
82. If ever you want to pinch Rajnikant,The best thing you can do is launch a missile at him.
83. Once Rajnikant and a small girl were playing cards. Rajni loses the game inspite having 3 ACES. Why?? Because The girl had 3 RAJNIKANTS…!!!
84. Well, this one will be understood well by medical persons. Once acute renal failure patient comes to RAJNIKANT. After getting bored of his complaints, RAJNIKANT just says ‘sssshhhuu’ and kidney starts functioning.
85. Rajni in Tamil remake of Aamir’s Ghulam. Rajni runs on railway track, the train is now at a distance of 1 mtr. Now what? Obviously… The train jumps off the track.
86. Even gajani remembers rajni.
87. This year’s RAJNIKANT award goes to …… Oscar
88. Graham Bell ne lamppost ke neeche padhai ki.. Rabindranath Tagore ne laalten mein padhai ki. Einstein ne doosre logo ki khidki se aati thodi si roshni mein padhai ki. Aur Rajnikanth ne Agarbatti mein :)
89. Grammatical thinking:Those think in universe in one we start with THE. like THE sun. so not call rajni call THE rajnikant.
90. Why Osama isn’t caught? Well!! Rajnikanth isn’t interested.
91. Even wildest of animals get goosebumps at the sight of Rajnikanth. Porcupines find him even scary.
92. Once Rajnikant participated in 100 meter running race. Don’t even try 2 guess wat happened. Rajnikant won the race. Seeing this Einstein committed suicide . do U know why. Coz light came third, but who came 2nd Rajnikant’s shadow.
93. One day Rajnikanth bunked school, now its known as Sunday.
94. The newly got symbol for the rupee is actually Rajnikhant’s signature.
95. Rajnikanth cannot work in a BPO (Business Process Outsourcing) Why??? because he himself is a process.
96. My laptop is now totally safe from trojans and virus… I just installed RAJNIKANTH Antivirus in my system !!
97. Gf: Mera koi picha karte rehta hai…
Rajni: ok..
Nxt day…
Gf: Hey… where the hell is My Shadow????
98. When rajnikanth dies, the grave doesnt read RIP, it reads ‘BRB’
99. World cup 2011 Grouping:
Group A: AUS,PAK,SL,NZ,ZIM,CANADA,KENYA,IND,SA,ENG,WI
BAN,IRL and NETHERLAND
Group B: RAJNIKANTH.
100. Rajnikanth got inspired by Superman , Batman and Hanuman and wanted to beat them all in a single shot so he wore underwear over lungi , grew a tail to his back and wore a bedsheet behind him.
101. Rajnikanth’s postal address: Rajnikanth , Madras – by Dholak
102. Rajanikanth can eat lunch before breakfast.
103. Rajanikanth is the only person to have got nobel prize in acting.
104. When Pope walks with Rajanikanth, People ask “Who is that guy in robe?”
105. Laughing Budha is the Japanese guy whom Rajni told a joke in childhood….
106. No one is perfect, Rajnikant is no one – by Yukta
107. Rajnikanth, it seems is a verb and not a noun. Its the continuous process happening inside and around us.
108. The Indian Government has requested Rajnikanth to restrict importing Bullet trains from China for using them as cartridges in his pistol
109. Rajnikant is lovin’ it! – Macdonald’s new tagline
110. Rajnikanth swaps his visitng cards at ATMs to get cash
111. Once rajni sent an sms to Einstein . It read – E=MC2
112. Corporate Slogans as they should be:
Impossible is Rajnikanth – Adidas
The car in front is Rajnis – Toyota.
Rajnikanth at Work – General Electric (GE)
I am Rajnikanth! What? Rajnikanth I am – Reebok
Connecting Rajnikanth – Nokia
Hello Rajnikanth – Motorola
Express Rajnikanth – Airtel Cellular Service India
A Rajnikanth can change your life – Idea Cellular India
Do you… rajnikanth!? – Yahoo
High Performance, Delivered – Accenture for Rajnikanth
Republic of Rajnikanth
113. Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what rajnikanth can do for your country.
114. Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love with rajnikanth.
115. One night at 2AM in the morning Rajni gets a phone call saying, “Congratulation Rajnikant you have won the Noble Peace prize and an all expence paid trip to Bangkok.” Rajni puts the phone down, Mrs Rajnikant asks who was it. Rajni replies. “Some bloody telemarketing guy”
The Hollywood Facts of Rajnikant
1. Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result – He was reduced to a joke on the internet.
2. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the ninth book.
3. Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.
4. Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.
5. Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.
6. Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man.
7. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth.
8. 10 actors have played the role of James Bond. No one has been able to enact Rajnikant… THE REAL JAMES BOND.
9. Rocky never challanged the one man who can defeat him… Rajnikant
10. Why do you think there are no superheroes in india…. Simple… no one can invade Rajnikant’s territory.
Rajnikant Vs the Computer World
1. Rajanikanth can delete the Recycling Bin.
2. Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Rajanikanth’s PC will crash.
3. Rajnikant’s email id is [email protected]
4. If you Google search ‘Rajnikant getting kicked’, you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.
5. Google won’t find Rajinikanth because you don’t find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.
6. Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.
7. If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajanikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”
8. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.
General facts about Rajnikant
1. Rajnikant has counted to infinity-twice.
2. When Rajnikant does pushups, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the earth down.
3. Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch, he decides what time it is!!
4. Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
5. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.
6. Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills, they just made him blink.
7. Rajnikant’s every step is a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of his morning jog!
8. Where there is a will, there’s a way. Where there is Rajnikant, there is no other way!!
9. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives in Chennai!
10. Rajanikanth can build a snowman…. out of rain.
11. Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
12. Rajanikanth can drown a fish.
13. Rajanikanth can play the violin….on a piano.
14. When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on ….he turns the dark off.
15. Rajanikanth once had a heart attack…. his heart lost.
16. Rajanikanth makes onions cry.
17. It takes Rajnikant 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes .
18. The only things that run faster and longer than Rajnikant are his films.
19. Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.
20. When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.
21. Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.
22. Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
23. Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant.
24. Rajnikant is so fast. He can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
25. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
26. Rajanikanth’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
27. Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
28. When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
29. Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.
30. Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
31. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
32. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.
33. Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
34. Rajanikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.
35. Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
36. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
37. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.
38. Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.
39. Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
40. With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
41. The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth, the result is death.
42. When you say “no one’s perfect”, Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult.
43. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
44. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.
45.. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn’t lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.
46. There is no such thing as evolution, it’s just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.
47. Rajnikanth can divide by zero.
48. Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.
49. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.
50. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
51. Rajinikanth doesn’t breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
52. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born.
53. Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
54. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.
55. Rajinikanth doesn’t move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.
56. Rajinikanth knows Victoria’s secret.
57. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.
58. Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.
59. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.
60. The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.
61. Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.
62. Rajinikanth doesn’t need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.
63. Rajinikanth’s brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury’s.
64. Rajinikanth doesn’t shower. He only takes blood baths.
65. Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.
66. Rajinikanth knows what women really want.
67. Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth.
68. Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that’s when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.
69. As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet.
70. The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Rajinikanth’s fist.
71. Rajinikanth puts the ‘laughter’ in manslaughter.
72. Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.
73. Rajinikanth is a champion in the game “Hide n’ seek”, as no one can hide from Rajinikanth.
74. Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.
75. Rajinikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.
76. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on.
77. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth.
78. If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Rajinikanth.
79. When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
80. Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
looks like a copy from http://zeeis.me/new-rajnikanth-jokes/
hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiihelo
cool! check out more amazing rajnikanth jokes http://bit.ly/aIuQCY
hey guys stop copy and pasting Chuck Norris jokes and replacing the name with Rajnikanth….
i will rape all those who made these jokes.
MIND IT!
rajinikanth has read every page of facebook
RAJINIKANT ROBO means then BALAKRISHNA BOBO.BOBO SPEED 1METER PER HOUR MEMORY NOBRAIN. BAD BAD DIALOGUES ALL ARE PROGRAMED IN ME TOTALY IAM AMENTAL NA KODUKUNE
Only Rajnikanth can kill The Dead Man–Undertaker.
Joke no 101 is actually true
Rajnikanth ate the apple piece out of its logo
Once rajnikanth donated 1/100000000000000 part of its wealth to a man.
That man is known as Bill Gates
Rajnikanth’s Robot/Enthiran becomes part of IIM-A curriculum
Before you dismiss this off as one of the many Rajinikanth jokes out there, circulating via sms and emails, let us assure you that what you just read isn’t one. The stupendous success of the sci-fi action Rajinikanth-Aishwarya Rai Bachchan starrer Enthiran a.k.a Robot has now become a topic which will be studied in detail by the students of the Indian Institute of Management – Ahmedabad. IIM-A’s postgraduate programme includes an elective course named ‘Contemporary film industry: A business perspective’, Students will be analysing the business of cinema and its success story with Enthiran/Robot as a case study. Besides Enthiran, another blockbuster on Rajinikanth’s belt – Muthu – will also be added to the curriculum. The Rs. 1.32 billion (Rs. 132 crore) production directed by Shankar raked in Rs. 3.75 billion (Rs. 375 crores) at the box-office becoming the highest grossing Indian movie of all-time surpassing the previous record of Rs. 3.39 billion (Rs. 339 crores) set by Aamir Khan starrer 3 Idiots.
Once Rajni went to buy a Buggadi Veyron he was not satisfied with its performance on the test ride so he got down from the car and pushed the car back to the showroom at an whooping 500kph (Veyron’s Max speed is 407 kph) Mind it!
nice jokes , good work by site, rajnikanth is the real suuuuuuuuuppppppper star of INDIA.
all idiots are here to get stupid jokes about rajni . but note it each statement has notice the name as rajnikanth eventhough he was underestimated.
he gives only happiness to every one to the enemy (or friends )
If Emran Hashmi can kiss one women at a time Rajnikant can do it with a billion.
1. Not even light can escape from black holes. And black holes can’t escape from Rajnikanth.
Potassium Cyanide had a huge sale after Rajnikanth developed insomnia. He uses cyanide for a sound night sleep !!!
When Graham Bell invented telephone. He already had 2 missed calls from Rajnikanth.
WHAT “I” CAN DO……RAJNI”CANT”(KANTH) DO
itna bakwas, pehle pata rehta ki aisi jokes hai padhta hi nahi
A Fustrated message from Rajnikant to all….
“Saalo ek limit hoti hai…..
Yeh kaun likh raha hai ki
…
Rajnikant tatti khata hai aur peeche se roti nikalti hai”
there should be a limit on the pj’s……………
yaar yeh ‘rajnikanth’ toh bahut ‘mast’ hai,par ‘mast’ toh bahut ‘rajnikanth’ hai!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Osama committed suicide, because US warned…Rajini is coming to meet you.
if you put rajanikant photo on your desktop, it will not affect any virus
hahahahaha….
awesome man!!….. rofl
few days before osama was killed…. obama was found talking to rajnikant
1 day rajnikanth is eating a water melon
one foreigner asks what r u eating
grapes says RAJNIKANTH
1 day rajnikanth is eating a water melon
one foreigner asks what r u eating
RAJNIKANTH says :::: GRAPES
There is nothing that Rajni CAN’T do?
Rajnikanth climbed Mt. Everest last year in his bike. To save petrol he reached the top in neutral.
one day rajnikant split a pan on a building!!!!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
!!!!!!
and now it is known as ReD FoRt!!!!!!:p
I dono how u pple are able to joke on the person who million of pple see as a Demi god..Am one die hard fan from Belgium
Pls stop this..Its not funny..its annoying..
dont hurt us..
when we wer small we piss on bed but…..
when rajnikant was small the bed should piss
when we wer small we piss on bed but…..
when rajnikant was small the bed should piss
why there was no in mumbai few hours ago because rajni kept his mobile for charging please joint gmail
Rajnikanth is angry.. because there is really nothing that Rajni “Kant”
Rajnikant was shot today…
Funeral of the bullet is tomorrow… :D
Rajinikanth proved Lamarks evolutionary law is more acceptable then Darwin’s. Once he kicked a dear in his chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
guess where wud shaktiman spiderman superman and batman go on teachers day???
to rajnikant…
If Rajnikanth was alive when Hitler was supposed to be born, Hitler would’ve committed suicide before he opened his eyes.
once rajnikanth went to the barber…since then the barber is known as justin barber
when rajnikanth grinded a bullet…gun powder was invented.
the movie jaws was shot in rajnikanths fish tank.
Once a farmer put Rajinikanth’s photo
instead of a scarecrow in his farm
u wont believe what happened
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
the birds were bringing back the crops taken
last year!
Paul The Octopus
Was Asked To
Predict
RajniKanth’s Death…! ! ! !
.
…
.
.
.
.
.
.
We All Know
Paul Died … ! ! !
Summer starts in India when Rajinikanth heats something in his gas stove!
When do earthquakes occur? When Rajnikanth’s mobile is on vibration mode!
Rajnikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
Rajnikanth is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Rajnikanth’s e-mail id is [email protected].
Superstar Rajinikanth’s famous Baadsha dialogue copied from Jane Austen’s novel?
“Naan oru thadava sonna… Nooru thadava sonna mathiri… (If I say it once, it’s equivalent to having said it a 100 times)” – It is probably one such dialogue from blockbuster Baasha that crossed the borders and reached the non-Tamilain communities all across India.
After 18 years, we have discovered a connection with an English novel and it has paved way for people to assume that the dialogue was copied from renowned Jane Austen’s novel. Jane Austen’s novel ‘Emma’ has a line which reads, “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a 100 times.” The novel was published in 1815.
Interestingly, Rajini’s popular line has also the same meaning. It has now made people in media circles to raise the question whether director Suresh Krishna was inspired from the dialogue or it was just a co-incident.
The Tamil dialogue stands top from all his other punch dialogues. It may be because Baasha gave Rajinikanth a new mass image in the role of a don in Tamil films and took him to the new ell, whether it is copied or it just happened by accident, it has to be only answered by Suresh Krishna. Isn’t?